Wow! We have spent a boat-load of money in the past 5 months making 3 trips to AZ to check on the folks. I am unofficially broke!!! The next step is "officially" broke, I suppose.
This last trip was really to celebrate Chuck's dad's 80th birthday. We surprised him and just showed up at the door. We really surprised him!! I was concerned he would have a heart attack. He was so pleased that we would travel to see him. Norma threw a party for him with about 30 of their closest friends. I seemed to fit right in... it was a room full of hearing aids (I just started wearing hearing aids). It was rather fun to see how well these seniors enjoyed themselves. It was so refreshing to see older adults active and engaged within their community and serving each other.
On the STARK flipside... I buzzed down to Green Valley to check on my parents...How grim and depressing! Their lifestyles in the past directly determine their lifestyle today. They are totally housebound, doctor visits weekly, depressed, in a wheelchair, in bed most of the day...the list goes on and on! Their house is being transformed into a nursing home of sorts. I don't mind serving my parents but some of this could've been prevented through their choices some time ago. My mom has diabetes, COPD, rheumatoid arthritis, fatty liver disease, cardiovascular disease and dementia. My dad has peripheral arterial disease, osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease. Let's just through in mental illness (mom) and drug addiction (dad) for fun! Also...Their choices financially has been burden on them and their children. WHY were they NOT preparing for this?!?
I was so angry when I left there! It has taken me about a little while to settle down. Such a contrast from one set of parents to the next! I feel really cheated by having to take care of my parents, like children, when I should be enjoying them as friends.
On a positive note... I have a stronger determination to NOT repeat their mistakes... I live a healthier lifestyle. I try to keep my mind active. I have a retirement plan in the works. I have a wonderful and rewarding relationship with my husband and kids. I have a religion affiliation that I wouldn't give up for anything in the world! I forgive and forget. I serve others as much as I can. I try not to be judgmental. I have friendships that I cherish and foster. I try to be grateful for what I have. I need to be more physically active. I guess I like who I am and I'll keep me!!
